Badfic mock pt. 1
Jun. 22nd, 2004 09:32 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lataraOkay, so possibly this could be better. But it was fun, and I had just the bestest material to work with (thanks, ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
perries!). Enjoy!
In the not to distant future…
It’s about right now. I’ve procrastinated enough on this.
Anyway, poor, defenseless Latara (that would be me) was transported to a s00per sekrit location to read the worst fanfiction has to offer. Incessant, loud cries for help provided her with some companions, an English teacher, Mrs. X, and a self-proclaimed Buffyverse expert, Bob. So, together with their snark, mad English skillz, and canon knowledge they brave the continuing (ok, it’s only one) storm of badfic. So, without further adeiu:
Story Sign!
Title: When Young Dawn With Her Rose Red Fingers Shone Once More
Latara: AHHH! The Odyssey *hides* no more, no more
Mrs. X: I’m sure there was a perfectly good reason you had to read that
Latara: There wasn’t.
(that's from the odyssey,
Latara: Yeah, I figured *twitch*
we're reading it in english right now, but im not doing too good cause my teacher is a big jerk who hates me.
Mrs. X: That’s what they all say…
In fact hes talking to my mom and dad right now while i'm sitting in the halllway, writing htis in my notebook. But I thought it really fit cause the main character guy is trying to find his wife, just like spike is trying to find bfufy)
Latara: On the WB next season: Bfufy, the vampire lover.
Bob: Finally! The explanation for Spuffy! It was actual her evil twin, Bfufy
Author: MEEEee! (duh)
Bob: Somehow that’s loads better than many pennames I’ve seen.
Rating: I dont really get this things but i'll rate it pg13 cause there's kissing and stuff.
Disclaimer: Um, I think this just means that I dont own the characters, but that's pretty stupid because if I owned them I wouldnt be writing this, cause id be making them act it out on the TV. But they should totally hire me, cause I could def improve the show a TON!!!!!!
Bob: How much do I doubt that?
Latara: She probably could have improved “Where the Wild Things Are”.
Bob: Yeah, but who couldn’t have?
Mrs. X: I could have. Forty-four minutes of Giles in the Expresso Pump.
Latara: Best. Ep. Ever.
Send lots of feedback, k? If you dont I wont rite a sequil!!
Latara: I’m so disappointed.
Buffy the blonde slayer walked through the cemtary when she was thinking about spike, the handsome vampire. He used to be really evil but then he got a chip in his head from Riley's army people and now he helped her fight.
Bob: Because if I’m reading this fic, I must not have ever seen Buffy.
He also takes care of Dawn buffy's little made-up sister, and loved her so incredibly much he would toatlly die for her.
Mrs. X: Bad… spelling… grammar… *twitch*
Latara: “little made up sister?” So very kind.
Sighing buffy walekd more and killed fifty vampires by staking them thru the heart
Bob: I doubt that’s in even the Slayer’s abilities.
Mrs. X: I know she’s on patrol but that’s a little excessive.
Latara: Yeah, and you’d think the vampires would start running away by now.
but they can also be killed with silver and throughing
Mrs. X: What IS that word?
water on them (a/n I dont really know about the other ways to kill vampires so I made them all up, k? Just like believe them for this story, otherwise it'll suck. *grin*).
Latara: Oh, darn, it was doing so well at not sucking otherwise
One of the vampyres looked alot like Angel,
Latara: Repeat after me: Buffy, the VampIre Slayer
her ex-bf she used to think she loved him but then she met spike and he was really hot. The vampire turned around...
Bob: And it wasn’t Angel at all! It was….. a puppy!
and it was angel!
Latara: And the pretend suspense was for…?
"angel."Buffy moaned she sounded really scared. "we need to talk lover...."Angel was in vampyre facve and he llooked really mad.
Bob: That’s not Angel. That’s Angelus. There is a difference.
Latara: *sobs* JENNY!
Mrs. X: Did you have to start her up on that again?
"Omg Angel why are you hear?"buffy cried,
Latara: Angel: Stop dating Spike. Kthxbye
she didn't want angel here, she had all these strange feelings for spike.
Bob: Didn’t seem to bother her in “End of Days”
Latara: I think the Spuffies like to pretend that didn’t happen.
Mrs. X: Bangels like to pretend season six never happened.
Latara: Who doesn’t?
Bob: What do you know? You love Season 4.
Latara: *mutters* Shut up.
Also, she really didn't love Angel, he was stupid and his forehead was ***humoungous***.
Bob: Season two never happened either.
Latara: Except for the Spike parts.
Bob: Of course.
Mrs. X: The spelling! *convulses*
Spiek was just soo sosooooo much hotter.
Mrs. X: I named the stars, but I named them all Spiek and there’s much confusion.
Latara: The story’s driven her insane. She’s quoting Drusilla.
Bob: Misquoting.
Latara: This is fanfiction. Canon has little to no meaning.
Angel growled at her then slammed her into a wall. "I know you think you love Spike buffy, but he's evil and probably thinking of how to kill you dead right now.
Bob: Because before, he was only going to kill you alive.
He roared "You belong to me!!@!"
Bob: You might think he’s being abusive, but really he’s just giving her his new email address.
Latara: Oh yes, youbelongtome11@yahoo.com
She whimpered as her back was pressed into the wlal painfully.
Latara: Damn those misplaced wlals.
Mrs. X: The spelling! It’s all wrong. I can’t abide it.
A tear began to drip down her cheeck, leaving a wet trail ***OMG, he's so evil! How could I ever love him***
Well, aren't you just dying of suspense. Continued in Part 2
perries!). Enjoy!In the not to distant future…
It’s about right now. I’ve procrastinated enough on this.
Anyway, poor, defenseless Latara (that would be me) was transported to a s00per sekrit location to read the worst fanfiction has to offer. Incessant, loud cries for help provided her with some companions, an English teacher, Mrs. X, and a self-proclaimed Buffyverse expert, Bob. So, together with their snark, mad English skillz, and canon knowledge they brave the continuing (ok, it’s only one) storm of badfic. So, without further adeiu:
Story Sign!
Title: When Young Dawn With Her Rose Red Fingers Shone Once More
Latara: AHHH! The Odyssey *hides* no more, no more
Mrs. X: I’m sure there was a perfectly good reason you had to read that
Latara: There wasn’t.
(that's from the odyssey,
Latara: Yeah, I figured *twitch*
we're reading it in english right now, but im not doing too good cause my teacher is a big jerk who hates me.
Mrs. X: That’s what they all say…
In fact hes talking to my mom and dad right now while i'm sitting in the halllway, writing htis in my notebook. But I thought it really fit cause the main character guy is trying to find his wife, just like spike is trying to find bfufy)
Latara: On the WB next season: Bfufy, the vampire lover.
Bob: Finally! The explanation for Spuffy! It was actual her evil twin, Bfufy
Author: MEEEee! (duh)
Bob: Somehow that’s loads better than many pennames I’ve seen.
Rating: I dont really get this things but i'll rate it pg13 cause there's kissing and stuff.
Disclaimer: Um, I think this just means that I dont own the characters, but that's pretty stupid because if I owned them I wouldnt be writing this, cause id be making them act it out on the TV. But they should totally hire me, cause I could def improve the show a TON!!!!!!
Bob: How much do I doubt that?
Latara: She probably could have improved “Where the Wild Things Are”.
Bob: Yeah, but who couldn’t have?
Mrs. X: I could have. Forty-four minutes of Giles in the Expresso Pump.
Latara: Best. Ep. Ever.
Send lots of feedback, k? If you dont I wont rite a sequil!!
Latara: I’m so disappointed.
Buffy the blonde slayer walked through the cemtary when she was thinking about spike, the handsome vampire. He used to be really evil but then he got a chip in his head from Riley's army people and now he helped her fight.
Bob: Because if I’m reading this fic, I must not have ever seen Buffy.
He also takes care of Dawn buffy's little made-up sister, and loved her so incredibly much he would toatlly die for her.
Mrs. X: Bad… spelling… grammar… *twitch*
Latara: “little made up sister?” So very kind.
Sighing buffy walekd more and killed fifty vampires by staking them thru the heart
Bob: I doubt that’s in even the Slayer’s abilities.
Mrs. X: I know she’s on patrol but that’s a little excessive.
Latara: Yeah, and you’d think the vampires would start running away by now.
but they can also be killed with silver and throughing
Mrs. X: What IS that word?
water on them (a/n I dont really know about the other ways to kill vampires so I made them all up, k? Just like believe them for this story, otherwise it'll suck. *grin*).
Latara: Oh, darn, it was doing so well at not sucking otherwise
One of the vampyres looked alot like Angel,
Latara: Repeat after me: Buffy, the VampIre Slayer
her ex-bf she used to think she loved him but then she met spike and he was really hot. The vampire turned around...
Bob: And it wasn’t Angel at all! It was….. a puppy!
and it was angel!
Latara: And the pretend suspense was for…?
"angel."Buffy moaned she sounded really scared. "we need to talk lover...."Angel was in vampyre facve and he llooked really mad.
Bob: That’s not Angel. That’s Angelus. There is a difference.
Latara: *sobs* JENNY!
Mrs. X: Did you have to start her up on that again?
"Omg Angel why are you hear?"buffy cried,
Latara: Angel: Stop dating Spike. Kthxbye
she didn't want angel here, she had all these strange feelings for spike.
Bob: Didn’t seem to bother her in “End of Days”
Latara: I think the Spuffies like to pretend that didn’t happen.
Mrs. X: Bangels like to pretend season six never happened.
Latara: Who doesn’t?
Bob: What do you know? You love Season 4.
Latara: *mutters* Shut up.
Also, she really didn't love Angel, he was stupid and his forehead was ***humoungous***.
Bob: Season two never happened either.
Latara: Except for the Spike parts.
Bob: Of course.
Mrs. X: The spelling! *convulses*
Spiek was just soo sosooooo much hotter.
Mrs. X: I named the stars, but I named them all Spiek and there’s much confusion.
Latara: The story’s driven her insane. She’s quoting Drusilla.
Bob: Misquoting.
Latara: This is fanfiction. Canon has little to no meaning.
Angel growled at her then slammed her into a wall. "I know you think you love Spike buffy, but he's evil and probably thinking of how to kill you dead right now.
Bob: Because before, he was only going to kill you alive.
He roared "You belong to me!!@!"
Bob: You might think he’s being abusive, but really he’s just giving her his new email address.
Latara: Oh yes, youbelongtome11@yahoo.com
She whimpered as her back was pressed into the wlal painfully.
Latara: Damn those misplaced wlals.
Mrs. X: The spelling! It’s all wrong. I can’t abide it.
A tear began to drip down her cheeck, leaving a wet trail ***OMG, he's so evil! How could I ever love him***
Well, aren't you just dying of suspense. Continued in Part 2
